well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
