Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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