Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
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