arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
