your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
