Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
