Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
