you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
