No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
