Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
