Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
