that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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