I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
