Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
