I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
