It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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