If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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