I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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