So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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