i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
