i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize