he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
my poor anus
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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