Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
