u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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