the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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