All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
