U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
