At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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