I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
