We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
