Screwed.edu
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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