is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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