Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
