Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
