"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
