so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
