I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
