The maid of honor just puked.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
