I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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