I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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