Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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