I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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