I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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