wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
