i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
