I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
