sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
