If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
