I only kidnapped one of them. chill
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
