Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
