This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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