jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
