either way he was missing a nipple.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
