She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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