maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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