Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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