he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
