Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
