Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
